Breaking Free from Christian Patriarcy’s Stay-at-Home-Daughter Movement

Spiritual abuse within the Christian church, particularly under the guise of Christian patriarchy, can have profound and lasting effects, especially on girls raised in the stay-at-home daughter movement. This movement advocates for young women to remain under their father’s authority and within the domestic sphere until marriage, ostensibly for spiritual purity and family unity. However, this can lead to a restrictive environment where girls are denied educational and professional opportunities, personal autonomy, and the ability to form their own beliefs and identities.

The emphasis on obedience and submission can blur the lines between piety and control, leaving little room for questioning or dissent. In such settings, spiritual abuse may manifest through manipulation, coercion, and the use of religious texts to justify oppressive behaviors, severely impacting the mental and emotional well-being of these individuals. The conflation of spiritual authority with patriarchal control can create an environment ripe for abuse, stifling growth and independence in the name of faith.

Cait West broke free from the stay-at-home daughter movement after recognizing that situations of abuse never honor an individual’s worth. Striking out on her own, Cait has had to process her own trauma and disembodiment as a survivor. Now, she shares her story with others and helps them find their voices and break free from spiritual abuse.

We had the honor of talking with Cait over an Instagram live about her story, forthcoming memoir Rift, and what healing looks like for women navigating new paths of personal autonomy and agency after years of being denied access to choice. Check out the conversation in the video below followed by a description of her memoir, resources for support, and more ways to connect!

Rift: A Memoir of Breaking Away from Christian Patriarchy

A gripping memoir about coming of age in the stay-at-home daughter movement and the quest to piece together a future on your own terms.

Raised in the Christian patriarchy movement, Cait West was homeschooled and could only wear clothes her father deemed modest. She was five years old the first time she was told her swimsuit was too revealing, to go change. There would be no college in her future, no career. She was a stay-at-home daughter and would move out only when her father allowed her to become a wife. She was trained to serve men, and her life would never be her own.

Until she escaped.

In Rift, Cait West tells a harrowing story of chaos and control hidden beneath the facade of a happy family. Weaving together lyrical meditations on the geology of the places her family lived with her story of spiritual and emotional manipulation as a stay-at-home daughter, Cait creates a stirring portrait of one young woman’s growing awareness that she is experiencing abuse. With the ground shifting beneath her feet, Cait mustered the courage to break free from all she’d ever known and choose a future of her own making.

Rift is a story of survival. It’s also a story about what happens after you survive. With compassion and clarity, Cait explores the complex legacy of patriarchal religious trauma in her life, including the ways she has also been complicit in systems of oppression. A remarkable literary debut, Rift offers an essential personal perspective on the fraught legacy of purity culture and recent reckonings with abuse in Christian communities.

Available April 30, 2024